haizz.....

sometimes...especially tis kind of time....I will always wonder.....is thr god....god r u really watching over me....although I noe he is always thr..especially when im hving the toughest times.....bt tis time again....I just cant stop myself...it's so hard......I worked so hard.....n wat I end up getting....was.......depressing..... hw m I going to move on....wat m I suppose to do nw.......my result is really upsetting me.....n I really dunno wat to do next....m I able to proceed to my degree? I hate it when im unsure bout my life.....I really hate it....god....I really beg u..........I need ur strength...I need some luck too.....pls....show me tat path......I cant c it anymore..............

i wan,i can,i must do it...!

these days i havent been really 'real',if tat makes sense...im losing my mind.....losing hope....losing my feelings.......i need to get them back.....i wan tat feeling of love...by touch by words...by gestures.....i cant feel by nw...bt soon i will find back my senses....life is nt owning me!i own my own life! i wan to be real,im waking up....getting on the right path again...lord,lead me nt to get lost again..amen

无法专注的我。。

大考了，一直一直觉得可以十拿九稳，可是内心一直很不安。。。一直不停地刷 homepage...不行。。。我决定封锁自己。。。我希望那执着的自己。。。我不想认输，只好大战一场，至少没有遗憾，我连续几天什么都不开，只看youtube insta,我不能堕落，至少不是现在。。。至少给我死无遗憾，况且，我还想走下去，赐我力量吧主，拜托
请保佑我身边每个人，我不知道发生什么事了，不知道外面的世界，等考完试，我还想好好地看一看你造的世界

糟糟的感觉

唉每一次的过错，每一次的反省，即可成长很多，我却觉得很痛苦。。。为什么。。老是问自己为什么。。。。每一次都在进步，可是依然还是会有犯错的地方。。我真的很厌倦成长这样东西。。。一直需要不停的改变。。。一直这样。。。觉得变得越来越不自己。。。

我很幸福，我知道，我一直都知道

回家真好，无论什么事都有家人在，不怕别人怎么说，没有误会没有负担，家会包容你的一切和一切。。。不像在宿舍要每天努力地讨好任何人，要怎么应酬他人。。。真的是非常非常不容易。。今天又要离开家，很是不舍。。。我真的会很想很想家。。。

睡饱心情自然好！

最近心情超暴躁，又郁闷，做什么都有气无力的，天气的干燥，使我睡觉都不能好好睡~心情根本糟透了~最近终于下雨了~今天睡得超爽超爽！希望日后也能这样X目

真的好久没有好好睡一觉了~~

well~hv been quite bored tis 2 days~hmm~dunno whether i should think more bout my future....
i always noe tat i must nt stress up myself~nt to compare wif anyone,bt......thr's always 1 particular person, tat pressure me, nt to say pressure...hmm~motivate me,to do something beyond wat i m doing nw, to look further, to grow more, to stay even hungrIER~if tat makes sense~
i dun noe her quite well, bt i added her on fb~she's just a parishioner of mine~used to c her quite a lot, n yea, her ex was the 1 guy i admire a lot, bt tat's nt the point, aside of her prince charming, it was her life updates on fb motivates me, she is just the same age as me, much prettier n sweeter~loads of fren here n thr~wonder hw she manage to be so close wif each n every fren of hers~she travels a lot, by herself n her frens along~taking photographs of places tat r milesss away frm me~~thr was no fear in her in my view, she is the star, jumping here n thr, nt gonna stop at any moment, she's gonna go further, n nvr forget to shine.
i hope tat my life will change, though i m nw stuck in my uni, i dun think i will be escaping frm here for 5 more yrs, bt i m nt afraid, it might be late, bt it will nt be nvr, one day, i m gonna go around the world, hving my own tour~wif frens of mine, who will thr be willingly bringing me all around, though nw i do nt hv much frens around the world~nt really~i will hv to find ways to work tat out.....
i just wan to go further~beyond everything i m hving nw~i wan more!(i will always rmb to be grateful n be satisfied for god's sake) bt i dun wan to waste my life, my life time is nt tat long for me to waste, just once, i wan to sparkle, might nt be a shining star, bt a short luminating dust, i m done,i m hunger for ntg by then, i hope